Broken: The sequel to THE PREACHER'S SON Page 17

  “I know that.”

  “But the question I need answered is whether or not you’re the man for me. Are you a man, Matthew, who is looking for a relationship, or are you still acting like a teenager running from bed to bed?”

  Her words stung him because they hit so close to home. He took a deep breath.

  “I can change.”

  “So you admit that you just have sex for sex’s sake. You just satisfy a bodily urge. Well, you know, Matthew, I didn’t have those urges until recently. That part of me was dead until you came along, but even with that, I won’t give into them if it’s just sex between us.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you? Do you really? I don’t know much, but I know it wasn’t intended to be that way. I believe that a man and a woman are supposed to love each other and then express those feelings physically with each other. It should be more than just the act. I mean, I’m still learning from Dr. Nelson, but I know that much.”

  “Who is Dr. Nelson? Your therapist?”

  “Yes, she’s helping me. I want to move forward not backwards.”

  “I understand.”

  “Do you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then if you want to be in my life, I need you to be the man I need. It’s not one sided. I want to be the woman you need also. I need us to be public, and I won’t be hidden away.”

  “Max.”

  “I mean it, Matthew. I won’t be your dirty little secret.”

  “Help me out here. Don’t say that. It’s not like that for me.”

  Matthew grunted as his release came. A part of him was embarrassed that just her voice could have that effect on him, but there was another part of him that didn’t care. He couldn’t remember ever being like this with any woman before Max. He had to do something or go crazy, and just maybe that something was accepting the fact that Maxine James was the woman he wanted to be with.

  Max was silent on the phone as she heard Matthew grunt in the phone and let out a long sigh. She listened as his breathing returned to normal and wondered if he had gotten what he wanted from her. Was she just someone to satisfy his fantasy and his sexual urges?

  “I don’t know what you want from me. I need you to answer a question. How do you feel about me? Is it just physical?”

  “No, it’s complicated.”

  “It’s not that complicated,” she insisted. “You’re the one making it that way. You want me, but if you give into me then you know that you have to deal with your own racial issues. All those things you said, calling my family trash, calling my sister out of her name because she was pregnant, the way you treated your brother and cousin because they were marrying out of their race!”

  “Max—”

  “What’s so wrong about being involved with a black woman?” she cut him off. “We’re all just people. This isn’t the sixties. We are supposed to be better than this.”

  “I know,” he agreed. “But not everyone is so open minded. I mean, I was told that being with a black girl wasn’t an acceptable choice! I mean, I believed it and dated more acceptable girls that my family would accept.”

  “So you bowed to the will of some narrow-minded people, is that what you’re saying?”

  “I’m saying that, I mean, it was drilled into by my father—”

  “You’re a grown man with an adult mind, Matthew.”

  “I know that. The thing is, if I go into politics I have to think about the choices that I make.”

  Max sucked her teeth at his answer. “Meaning that some people won’t like seeing us together, and you want their vote so bad that you’d sacrifice your own happiness.”

  “Max, it’s not that simple.”

  “Fine. But I can’t wait around for you to make up your mind. I’m trying to get my life together, and I need a man that will help me. I need a man who’s not ashamed to have me on his arm. I can tell that you aren’t ready to be that man, so don’t call me anymore.”

  “No, Max. Don’t say that,”

  “What do you want me to say, Matthew? You want me to wait around, sneak around like my Aunt Betty did and find a picture of some light-skinned black man and pretend that I have a husband while all the time I’m screwing some white man behind my family’s back? I can tell you right now that’s not going to happen.”

  Her words hit him like a sledgehammer, yet Matthew knew that she was being honest and up front. He didn’t want to love her, but he knew that he wanted more. He thought about spending his life with her, which scared the hell out of him. There was a battle raging inside his mind and heart, and he was fighting against everything had believed before he had met her.

  He never thought that he would be able to love a black woman and had denied his attraction to them years before. He thought he had been happy with his past choices in women, but he realized that the attraction would fizzle after a few dates. Now that his own feelings were betraying him, he didn’t know what to do. To admit now that he was falling in love with her would mean that he would have to address his own racial issues. He’d have to rethink his whole position, and he would have to explain to his family why he had changed his mind. He wasn’t ready for all that.

  “How do you feel about me?”

  “I care about you,” was all he could muster. He knew he was not being totally honest. He just was not ready to face the simple fact that he was falling in love with her.

  “I need more than that, Matthew. I’m greedy. I want it all. When I told you tonight that I loved you, it slipped out before I knew it because I feel that way from my heart. It’s not because of what you did. I don’t know much about sex and all that; I admit that. But I would think that if a man put his own feelings and desires on hold to try to give a woman pleasure, it’s more than just liking someone as a friend. You were so gentle and caring, and that meant so much to me. It makes me want more of you—not just the sex, but all of you because I believe that you are a loving man with so much to offer. I need a man who can be patient with me and help me to learn to enjoy what he has to offer. I feel that you can be that man. You just don’t know it or won’t admit to wanting to be that man. You’re lying there now trying to catch a feeling, touching yourself, well I’m doing the same thing, but it’s all temporary. You’re cheating yourself. I don’t want to cheat myself. I want more. I want it all. I feel I deserve it all, and you deserve it all too. So until you are ready to give me all of you, don’t call me anymore.”

  “Max-

  “Goodnight Matthew.”

  Before he could respond, he heard her hang up the phone.

  Nadine listened to the steady rhythm of Eric’s breathing. He was lying on his stomach with his arm draped across her.

  She could hear the murmuring sounds in Max’s room and wondered who she could be talking to this time of the night. She wondered if it were Matthew.

  Her father had given her the disturbing news of James Roger’s parole. He did not know how to tell Max. But Nadine could tell that something had upset her sister when she came home from the gym and decided to wait.

  After the parole board had realized their blunder, they had given Jesse a courtesy call to tell him that James Rogers had made parole because he was a model prisoner. He would be on supervised work release with a monitor on his ankle at all times. Still, it was a little unsettling to know that he would be out working in the community, regardless of whether he had to report back to the prison at the end of each day.

  They had promised her father that they would tell him where Rogers would be working to help Max feel safe. Nadine hoped that they would ship him to some other part of South Carolina, some area far away from Conway and Myrtle Beach.

  Nadine wasn’t sure how Max was going to take the news. She hoped that she had progressed enough to be able to handle it. She would suggest that she call the doctor for an appointment. Things were going so well for her, and Nadine didn’t want her to have any setbacks.

  She hoped that Matthew wasn’t adding to her sister’s stre
ss. The attraction between the two of them was obvious, and she wondered what Matthew’s problem was. If he wanted to be with her sister, what was holding him back?

  Nadine made up her mind to talk to Max in the morning. She needed to know that she was all right.

  She sat up and slid from under Eric’s grasp and peeked into the girl’s room. They were sleeping soundly. Satisfied, she slipped out of the room heading to the bathroom and almost collided into Max.

  She looked at her in surprise. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine,” Max replied, trying to slip past.

  Nadine didn’t think she sound fine and grabbed her arm to make her sister face her.

  “What’s going on? Who were you talking to this time of night?”

  “It was Matthew,” Max said. “I’m tired. I really don’t want to get into it tonight. It’s late, and we both have a full day tomorrow.”

  “All right.”

  She watched as Max returned to her bedroom and shut the door. She didn’t know what was going on, but she hoped that the saga of Max and Matthew would soon be resolved.

  When she returned to the bedroom she found Eric sitting up.

  “What’s going on? I heard you and Max talking. Is everything all right?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. She was talking to your brother on the phone. I hope he’s not giving her grief.” Nadine laid herself down in his arms.

  “Maybe I need to talk to him,” Eric grumbled. “I just don’t understand Matt. What is he so afraid of? I don’t get it.”

  “You remember where your talk got you last time,” Nadine said. “He’s not going to listen to you. He’s the older brother, so he thinks he knows more than you do. I just don’t want him hurting Max. He says he doesn’t want to be in an interracial relationship, then why won’t he leave her alone?”

  Eric rubbed her arm. “Look, I’m going to ask him what his intentions are. He is my brother, but I care about Max too. I don’t want him hurting her either. I think I’ll just pay him a little visit at the agency.” He kissed her. “He’s making himself miserable, but I don’t want us to be in that boat with him. If he’s not going to piss, he needs to get off the pot!”

  Nadine giggled.

  “Just see where his head is at,” she said. “Maybe he’ll talk to you or at least tell you what’s going on. I’m going to talk to Max too. I already have to talk to her about the parole. Dad dropped that in my lap. He was all emotional about it, and I thought it best if he just let me do it.”

  “Well, we both have full plates for tomorrow,” Eric said. “So we’d better get some sleep.”

  She kissed him quickly on the lips. “We could do something that would help us both sleep if you would be “bery bery quiet,” she said in her best Elmer Fudd voice.

  He snickered and pulled her closer. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  CHAPTER 14

  But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil full of deadly poison. James 3:8

  Matthew paused for a moment when his secretary announced that his brother Eric was there to see him. He leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. He had known this moment would eventually come. No doubt Max and her sister were behind him.

  “Send him in, Iris,” he sighed.

  Matthew watched as Eric walked into his office with a smile. He plopped down in the seat in front of his desk and leaned back. Matthew decided to wait and see what his brother had to say. He leaned forward on his desk and steepled his fingers tapping them together and stared at Eric.

  “Hey, Matt,” Eric said, still grinning.

  Matthew stared at him a moment, not sure what to think. Obviously, Max hadn’t said anything, or he wouldn’t be sitting in front of him grinning like an idiot. Could he need money? Was something else going on?

  “This is a surprise,” Matthew said finally. “What brings you down here?”

  The grin disappeared from Eric’s face as he turned serious. He hesitated a moment before he spoke.

  “We need to talk about Max,” he said finally.

  Matthew tensed up. He didn’t want to talk about Max. His mind went back to the night that he’d sounded like a blubbering idiot on the phone all to keep her talking so that he could jack-off to her voice. He didn’t know what the hell he had been thinking then, since he supposedly hadn’t cared what she said as long as he could keep her talking. Hell, he could only remember bits and pieces of the conversation because he had been just that far gone. He wondered what Max had said to cause Eric to come down to his office. He didn’t need Eric and Nadine questioning him about Max. He was a grown man! He held his temper as he stared at his brother.

  “What about Max?” he asked, trying to keep his voice level. He leaned forward on the desk and glared, but Eric seemed totally unaffected. He felt like his old self now, confident and in control. He could handle his brother.

  Eric got up and shut the office door and then turned back to him. Matthew continued to lean on his desk, tapping his fingers impatiently. He watched as his brother sat back down and met his gaze.

  “Matt, you’re my brother, and I don’t want you to think that I’m against you or that I’m trying to get in your business, but I just need you to at least have empathy for my position. Max is Nadine’s sister. I live with both of these women. If you are giving Max grief, then you should know that I’m going to hear about it.”

  Matthew chuckled in disbelief. Was it his fault if Eric were henpecked? Then again, if Eric were henpecked, why the hell did he look so happy? His eyes ran over his brother, who was watching him closely. Matthew thought that he looked happy and content. How could that be? Max crossed his mind once again as well as his own descent down to wimp status that night on the phone. He drew himself up, glaring at his brother.

  “Eric, I’m not giving Max grief.” He shuffled some papers on his desk. “I don’t see why you had to come down here about that. Max doesn’t need a babysitter.”

  Eric leaned back in his chair and stared at him as if choosing his words carefully. Matthew watched as he crossed his legs.

  “Matt, what is it with you?” he said finally. “You have said countless times that you don’t want a relationship with a black girl, yet you seemed to be overly concerned about Max. Well, I have a wakeup call for you. She’s a black woman, so you should not be giving her the time of day. Why were you on the phone with her last night as late as it was? Nadine said she looked upset after talking to you.”

  Matthew felt his face grow hot. “Eric, Max and I are adults. I don’t owe you an explanation.”

  Eric leaned forward in his seat, and Matthew could tell that he was preparing himself for a fight. He glanced at his brother’s knuckles, which were white as the grasped the arms of his chair.

  “You’re acting like a dumbass!” Eric snarled. “I came down here to try to help you, and you’re jumping on me. I know you want her. Why don’t you admit it? All you’re doing with that attitude is digging yourself in a deeper hole with Max than you are already in. I know that I’m the younger brother and you think you know everything. Well, if you knew as much as you think you do, then you wouldn’t be as miserable as you are right now.”

  “Oh, and I suppose you have the word from the wise,” Matthew snarled.

  “I don’t know everything, but I do know you, Matt. You’re not happy. In fact, you’re miserable. I can plainly see it for myself. You’re working long hours, you’re losing weight. I know you said that you wanted to be a multi-millionaire by thirty, and it looks like you’re going to get there, but who will you share it with? Will all that money make you happy? Can you look me in the face and honestly tell me that you don’t want Max? If that’s the case, then I stand corrected, and I will leave you alone!”

  Matthew looked at his little brother as he stood up from his seat and faced him. He wanted to say something, anything to wipe that smirk off Eric’s face.

  “Look Eric, I think the reason why you’re so interested in this is that you’re sca
red that you’re going to lose your meal ticket. I know you’re not making that much money working part-time and going to school. Nadine’s not making that much either. You both are living off of Max. You’re just worried that if Max and I do get together that she’ll set both of your butts out on the street and you and Nadine will have to move into Section 8 housing. Yes, I’m working hard and fulfilling my dreams. As for that millions you spoke about, I’ve surpassed that, and now I’ve opened a new location. I’m successful, and you’re not. That’s what’s bothering you!”

  He watched as Eric’s face went white with rage, and he wondered for a moment if his brother were going to throw a punch at him from the other side of the desk.

  “God, Matt, you are a piece of work! Yes, both Nadine and I depend on Max right now. However, her happiness is our concern, not money. It may be a hard concept for you, but Max and Nadine love each other. Max would never put her sister and her nieces on the street. Push comes to shove, we could always move back in with our parents temporarily. We just want Max to be happy! You just don’t want to deal with the fact that, after you’ve shot your mouth off about my relationship and how wrong it is, now you find yourself attracted to a black woman yourself. I came down here to try to help you, but I’ve changed my mind. Max is so much better off without you!”

  “So all you want is for Max to be happy, huh?” Matthew challenged, standing and facing him. “Your family loyalty just went out the window, right? I’m your blood, and you automatically assume that I’m doing Max wrong? Thanks for the vote of confidence!”

  “I haven’t made any assumptions. I came down here with an open mind. You were the one throwing low blows at me because you can’t face the truth and you can’t stand it that I’m happy!” Eric growled. “I don’t give a damn how much money you’re making! You can’t take a dime of it with you when you leave this earth, and you can’t buy happiness, peace of mind, or good health!”